Letter to the Reader

College Composition.... I have had a lot of fun in College Comp. I would have to say it was my favorite class this semester ! And I probably could've done a lot better and not goofed off as much. I learned to use more details and transitions and to try and make the reader want to read more.. to pull them into the passage. I also had help, from my totally awesome teacher aka Ms. Basko, to write my college essay which was very successful and happened to make my mom and other readers cry. I had a wonderful experience in this class and will truly miss Ms. Basko! She is a wonderful teacher and I hope to find another like her when I go off to college.

last revision

I decided to use other details I think that would be more exciting for the reader to read because when I looked at the one that wasnt revised it seemed really boring and stupid. I think my revised edition is a lot better than the original. What do you think? do you think it is improved form the last one or the same as the last one.

Arco Iris Mexicano translates into The Mexican Rainbow. This is a Folkloric Mexican dance group that I am apart of. I have been dancing in this group for 9 or 10 years and I have just began to notice that there are signs of all the 7 deadly sins.

One of the best reasons to be apart of this group is that we get free food at almost every place that we go to dance. Whether it be a Mexican restaurant or Darien Lake. I love this because we usually can eat as much as we want. Gluttony ? I think so. There are about 3 or 4 little girls in our group and yes they are cute but seriously don't let them fool you... they can be greedy as greedy can be. They like to be in the spotlight and twirl their skirts around and end up messing up the dance. Thanks guys! not really. I guess it is good that the people watching us think its cute. The older more experienced girls try to butt in and guide them and help them but they do not want to be told what to do or they simply just walk away.

I am always proud to show people my Mexican background and if you asked people that know me they would probably tell you I am a proud Latina and I'm not afraid to show it. That is how a lot of the Mexican people are in Rochester. That is why the kids that are in our group are in it in the first place, to show people that they are Mexican and to show them our culture. Lust .... ha ha oh yes there are always boys whether they be Latino or not that enjoy watching us dance and smile at us and talk about who they think is pretty and point them out. All of us girls can tell and yes I guess we blush and cant help but smile because they think we are pretty. Also two other girls and I decided they like watching us dance because they can see up our skirts as we twirl around, good thing we were shorts. When I received my Young Latina Award in 2009 of November I could tell that there were some people in and outside of our group that were envious towards me. I could also tell some girls were gossiping , probably saying things like " who is that girl? why did she get it" and when they read out a list of my accomplishments probably said something like" ya ya big whoop! I have done more things". I think my sisters were a little envious towards me too because they like to tell me that they are more Mexican than me and they think I am not really Mexican but German or Russian or something. That is one bad thing about being adopted i guess. OK here I go .. I will admit I do gossip! There I said it! And don't pretend that you have never gossiped about someone. It is hard to be in a dance group especially when you do not like the dance instructors daughter because she thinks she is all that and ignores you when  you try to talk to her and looks you up and down as if to say " Ew what is she wearing? or I really don't like you but I will pretend to". My sisters and I do not like her and gossip about her because she acts like she is too good for us because she is in college and is in all of these smart classes like AP and she wears Abercrombie and Fitch and has a lot of money. Don't tell anyone I said this but I sometimes want to smack her and say " Honey.. grow up. The world does not revolve around you". Other than all of these deadly sins that are committed I love our dance group because we are one big family and we always have a great time.

final revision request for feedback

 Ok so I want to know is there enough details in this paper or are there too much? Also do I have good transitions or none at all or do I need more? Is this paper awkwardly put together or uneasy to read?
Mexican Dancing                                                       

I am apart of a Mexican Dancing group called “Arco Iris Mexicano” which translates into The Mexican Rainbow. Within my dance group you can notice all 7 of the deadly sins.

 First off one of my favorite reasons for doing Mexican dancing is that you get free food at almost every place that we dance and let me tell you I love Mexican food! We usually can get a reasonable amount of food too so I end up eating a lot of it. I think this is a perfect example of Gluttony. The little girls that dance in our group are very cute! But you shouldn’t let that fool you because sometimes they can be very greedy especially when we are dancing on stage and the older more experienced dancers such as myself try to help them, they refuse to be helped. In case you haven’t noticed I have a lot of Mexican pride and so do a lot of the Mexican people. I think there is a lot of pride in my dance group because wherever we go to dance we are always flashing our skirts to everyone and we are talking about how we love our culture and dancing for people. Lust … I guess you could say that there is bound to be some lustfulness in our group because It is made up of all girls who when twirling around skirts go flying up in the air and there are usually many young Latino boys who are watching us (or up our skirts)... yep that is all I have to say about that. There is some envy in the crowds when we dance because they are usually made up of families or boyfriends and girlfriends so usually the guys are staring at us and that makes their spouse or girlfriend envious towards us or there are girls who like a boy that is staring at us so that makes them envious towards us. Sometimes in our group all the older girls can be a bit of a sloth and gossip about one another and we can sometimes catch one of the other girls giving us dirty looks or talking about us. There isn’t really a lot of wrath in our group because even though we can talk about one another and everything we all still love each other because we are like a family.

conclusions

I think the newer conclusion I had from the revised 7 deadly sins paper was a lot better than the first. I think because I had more details and made it more interesting the reader would want to read it. I also think that my partner would agree. He  told me before that I needed to make my food paper more interesting and I king of used his advice and added more details and tried to incorporate a story into my revised version of 7 deadly sins. I honestly do not know what else to write for a conclusion for this paper. We learned that for conclusions you had to have a good ending that sort of summed up everything that was talked about in the paper and it shouldn't end awkwardly or anything like that or to end with a question that kind of leaves the reader thinking.

7 deadly sins revision

Arco Iris Mexicano translates into The Mexican Rainbow. This is a Folkloric Mexican dance group that I am apart of. I have been dancing in this group for 9 or 10 years and I have just began to notice that there are signs of all the 7 deadly sins.
One of the best reasons to be apart of this group is that we get free food at almost every place that we go to dance. Whether it be a Mexican restaurant or Darien Lake. I love this because we usually can eat as much as we want. Gluttony ? I think so. There are about 3 or 4 little girls in our group and yes they are cute but seriously don't let them fool you... they can be greedy as greedy can be. They like to be in the spotlight and twirl their skirts around and end up messing up the dance. Thanks guys! not really. I guess it is good that the people watching us think its cute. The older more experienced girls try to butt in and guide them and help them but they do not want to be told what to do or they simply just walk away.
I am always proud to show people my Mexican background and if you asked people that know me they would probably tell you I am a proud Latina and I'm not afraid to show it. That is how a lot of the Mexican people are in Rochester. That is why the kids that are in our group are in it in the first place, to show people that they are Mexican and to show them our culture. Lust .... ha ha oh yes there are always boys whether they be Latino or not that enjoy watching us dance and smile at us and talk about who they think is pretty and point them out. All of us girls can tell and yes I guess we blush and cant help but smile because they think we are pretty. Also two other girls and I decided they like watching us dance because they can see up our skirts as we twirl around, good thing we were shorts. When I received my Young Latina Award in 2009 of November I could tell that there were some people in and outside of our group that were envious towards me. I could also tell some girls were gossiping , probably saying things like " who is that girl? why did she get it" and when they read out a list of my accomplishments probably said something like" ya ya big whoop! I have done more things". I think my sisters were a little envious towards me too because they like to tell me that they are more Mexican than me and they think I am not really Mexican but German or Russian or something. That is one bad thing about being adopted i guess. OK here I go .. I will admit I do gossip! There I said it! And don't pretend that you have never gossiped about someone. It is hard to be in a dance group especially when you do not like the dance instructors daughter because she thinks she is all that and ignores you when  you try to talk to her and looks you up and down as if to say " Ew what is she wearing? or I really don't like you but I will pretend to". My sisters and I do not like her and gossip about her because she acts like she is too good for us because she is in college and is in all of these smart classes like AP and she wears Abercrombie and Fitch and has a lot of money. Don't tell anyone I said this but I sometimes want to smack her and say " Honey.. grow up. The world does not revolve around you". Other than all of these deadly sins that are committed I love our dance group because we are one big family and we always have a great time.

I think I have done alot better with this paper. I think that because I incorporated better details It made it more interesting and It is more me than me being rushed. I hope you think it is a little better because honestly I do not know anything else to write about.

food paper introductions

ok so I think I could have done alot better on this paper, and I think I could start that by revising it and writing new introductions. I wrote my original food paper and blogged about it and now I have to write a couple of new introductions.

We are sitting in the classroom and Ms.Basko says " Ok kids, we are going to be eating food! but you have to describe the texture and write about it". So we were split into groups and we had differennt foods to try. She came to our table and said " Ok you guys are gonna be the chip group" Yes! I love chips ...they are a good crunch and have a great salty taste and it is a great way to end the school day. Our group was given four different chips to try. I remember being excited to taste that delicious salty taste and feel the crunch in my mouth . Garrett and I were of course laughing about something like we always do. I also remember looking over and Tyler Vanlandingham was piling chips on his plate saying " Im hungry. You have no idea"

What is in a potato chip? Well I guess it is obvious .. it is a sliced potato that is fried and has salt lighty shaken over it. They are crunchy and are a great end ofthe day snack or a great snack when you are moody. I was excited for this experiment because I wasnt really having that great of a day and I wanted to just go home. But when I ate the chips I was happy I was in this last period class. It was a great way to end a not so great day, plus I always have fun with Garrett , chips plus Garrett equaled a fabulous time.

process analysis reflection

I thought this was a fun assignment but I honestly didnt know what I was going to write about with my partner. I think how my partner and I came up with topic is that I came into the class one day and I was saying how much I wanted to eat tamales and so we were like Hey we should write about that. I think an obstacle we faced was how we were going to sort out our paper to make it interesting because we didnt want to just have it be about a regular tamale so we made it a little fun and added a little twist. I think what was easy for my partner and I was once we figured out the ingredients we wanted in the tamales we just had to add details and make it interesting and that wasnt too hard for us because we both are pretty creative. Now as I look back at the paper I think some revisions I would make would be more details and to elaborate on some of the steps used in the piece and to describe how much a helping is for example of icecream. I would also include a visual of a tamale so the reader could see what we are talking about and It could be helpful for soe readers who may not know what a tamale is.

How to make a Chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream Tamale

Tamales are a very delicious Mexican dish. They are usually made with cornmeal and beef or chicken inside, but we are putting sweet desert spin on the classic tamale. This is a very simple and easy dish to make. Anyone can do it. All you have to do is follow the ten easy steps below! We decided to try making a tamale but with something new and different.

Step One: Buy a Pillsbury brick of chocolate chip cookie dough

Step Two: Roll it out to a thin layer to about 1 centimeter thick

Step Three: Layer the top of the cookie dough tortilla with rainbow sprinkles. This will add that required crunch the food critics’ love. It also adds color so it’s presentation is more appealing to the kids

Step Four: Put the newly sprinkle covered tortilla in the fridge.

Step Five: Scoop 4 helpings of vanilla ice cream into a medium sized bowl.

Step Six: Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. This will bring out the vanilla flavor in the tamale which is the central focus. Add two tablespoons of sugar in order to get a sweeter taste than the normal ice cream.

Step Seven: Use a whisk and stir the ice cream until it is light and fluffy. If desired add one tablespoon of food coloring and mix until the color transformation is complete.

Step Eight: Take chocolate chip cookie dough tortilla out of fridge. Place the ice cream concoction on the tortilla in a lump at the center of the tortilla. 

Step Nine: Wrap the cookie dough tortilla with the ice cream inside until the ice cream is surrounded by the tortilla.

Step Ten: Reinforce the wrapped tortilla with a Nerds Rope. To do this, place the tamale on the top of the Nerds Rope. Next bring both ends of the rope and tie. A shoelace knot is preferred, but you can tie it however you want based on experience.

Keep in freezer until you want to serve. Let tamale sit for 3 minutes before eating for best softness.

ENJOY!!!